Wipe out

Well today I remembered my pants! We always have a late start on Wednesday so kids don't start school until ten. Well today we did DOL, centers, lunch, recess and 15min. of math...then I was told through the grape vine (not announced to everyone....) that we are getting out at 12:30 because of the snow..grrrr. We better have school tomorrow. Nothing has been passed by the state saying that we don't for sure have to make up the days that were missed because of ice. We were told this morning that we are making up one of 6days on Feb. 16....that really pissed me off because I have been planning to go to Ames then for 2months. I'm still going just not as early as I want to! I really don't want to go to school on in to June.

On one hand I don't want the snow because it makes us miss school, but on the other it is really pretty. The snow almost looks fake it is laying on the ground in little round bead like matter.

Well I'm off to be lazy and take a nap...my bum hurts....i took off my tennis shoes because I wore them in the gym (played basketball against freshman boys and mr. J instead of heading home) I stopped at WalMart to get some stuff and walking out to my car...I fell backwards...so my bum hurts.....i don't remember the last time I feel on the snow like that.

OOPs: Forgot my pants

Today is one of those days that I wish I could have started off better. 7:30am I went to go change…and realized I forgot my pants. Wow, what a way to start the day. Then behavior problems all day. 3 o-clock rolls around and school is out, I find myself having to go to the bathroom because during a break I was dealing with those behavior problems and having to observe my mentor (have it done before the state comes to pick our school apart) It doesn’t say how long you have to observe…5 minutes is all I the time I had and that is all she had to watch me. I found out grades are due in the morning…grrrrr talk about a little stress. A good note of the day is my financial advisor is not coming tomorrow so I didn’t do my dishes tonight…what a relief. Well Dirt is on, got to go.

FYI: I had pants on don't get me wrong I leave the house with them on...but I had cheerleading first. I had pj pants on not something I would teach in. I packed clothes....I put in an extra sweater and left my pants on the floor. It took me a while to remember that I had extra clothes on behind my desk.

Body 101

I had to watch the puberty movie with 30 girls today...and help the school nurse answer questions...who knew I was so knowledgeable. lol It was a little awkward, but there weren't a lot of giggles and the movie was new...not a 1970's thing that I was told we would be doing. The girls asked questions for a good 30mins. the male teachers were tired of the boys asking erection questions in the other room so we end our session before all the questions were answered. It didn't go like I thought it would, which was good....it is a little scary. The health talk really throwed off the day for all the men. I had questions from 4th grade girls on and off all day. Do you think 4th grade is too young to do this health talk too?

My weekend will be spent at school, get ready for a review board to visit....and get ready for centers(ideas anybody)

Is it just another school day: Self Mutilation

I’m a little nervous about our MSEP review coming up in just two week….that means a lot of people walking through the school and into my classroom watching me and my students…checking out everything… I have to go back to writing lesson plans full out like in college…(I haven’t done one since student teaching I hope it is like riding a bike!) I am going to be spending the weekend getting ready for it and catching up on everything I can’t get done during the week. They are people from the state…mucho importante and I don’t have my license to teach in Missouri yet…it is in process>>> Oh the nerves<<< The first 2days back weren’t bad my students pulled out some great reports about racism and they managed to get wonderful water cycle projects after their long break. However…the boy girl I’m going out with her I don’t like him…(stuff I hate to hear) has been going on since Monday in full swing.
I have a student who is using self-mutilation because he/she is bored. I saw it today. I didn’t know what to tell him that wouldn’t sound like a sermon. I tried to get across that it can lead to death and why it is important to find other ways to express himself…like instead of writing his name on his/her leg he could draw all over it. It reminded me of high school ( if you haven’t read previous posts…I think I have written about it) I use to cut myself …not deep I don’t have any scars now…I cut myself shaving the other day…and it brought back memories of what I use to do to myself…and now this! I feel like I accomplished something by getting through all of it on my own (my faith helped me out…GOD) I didn’t do it because of boredom…I didn’t it out of anger, pain, selfishness I guess. I did the drawing thing to help me get past it…I wore long selves all the time and I look back and am kind of ashamed of what I did, but I’m getting past the shamefulness and moving on to why I did it and how I’m a stronger person for making it out without too much fuss or trouble. I learned not to judge those who did it, but learn to find out the reasons why. I claim that cutting is like a drug or alcohol.. it is hard to stop it is addicting much like chocolate cake…you know you shouldn’t eat it because it isn’t good for your body…cutting is the same way…but at the time it felt good. Well there is me spilling my guts. I’m off to bed. Dream Sweet

Be kind…I love comments…but don’t look at me with judging eyes and think of me a freak…I was 15, the over achiever, over active, loner, that was feeling a lot of pain and anger. High school was the time that I wasn’t home, wasn’t out going to parties…I was out doing things all the time for school, work, the community..4-H this 4-H that, I missed out on so much because I did too much. I loved being busy most of the time, but felt pressure from everyone that I had to be perfect had to please them and do everything. That isn’t any way to live and I figured it out after I started taking out my pain and the pain I felt I was causing and others. I made that pain into a physical reminder. I am grown, matured, and have been inspired to get through my pain in other ways. I really want to help this student….but I’m not sure what I can say (I don’t think I’m going to tell them my story…not appropriate) I haven’t even told the parent because I couldn’t get a hold of them…grrrr any ideas on how to deal with this…?

Ok now I'm off to bed...a repeat of Dirt is on...no fun watching it twice in a row. Night

Warning: Monthly Woman Vent (males may not want to read)

I don’t think you know pain until you are curled up at your desk and almost to the point of passing out, retaining so much water it feels like you could float like an oil tanker. Today was just one of those days….I wish I was a guy or I wish I could just stay home and not teach in front of 23 students when it was that time of the month…because it is really hard to look like you are enjoying what you are teaching when you want to just fall over on the floor or take a nap(passout) in the book corner.
I needed to vent: Sorry if you read it and you didn’t mean too.


Cramps SUCK and they won't go away no matter what meds. I take grrr

Ice storm the Meltdown

Today is another day at home except it is now over 40degrees outside and sunny. A company came and cut down branches on the tree outside my house. I can now see my driveway!!! I still have a cable line down but I can work around it. Everything is melting more branches are falling. I have had electricity all day except for a little time this morning. (not bad) The trees are dripping as if they are crying tears of joy, but have a heavy heart as more of them break into pieces because of the weight. The town I live in is a mess, much like the surrounding area it truly is a shame to see all the trees broken and not able to be fixed, many will need to be cut down when this is all done and others will look a little naked waiting for years of regrowth to correct it’s unshapely appearance. I know that there is snow in the forecast for the upcoming weekend, but for the sake of my sanity I really hope not. Once again here are some more pictures of the meltdown in Missouri.

Venus Vs. Mars

Last night I was watching Oprah…they were talking about how men don’t understand women and women don’t understand men. Why is that?

One line that stuck out was “women keep crazy in a bottle for 6months while dating a man and then slowly opens it and lets the crazy seep out.” I was thinking…wow that sounds ridiculous at first…and then whoa isn’t that the truth? Isn’t it weird how man and woman are so different? How often do you keep some secrets from a person until you get more comfortable around them? This in my opinion goes for male and female. There are things you don’t want the opposite sex to know until they have known you for a while. That way they can’t just judge you on one incident. (that is why I wait to bring people home to meet the family…when you meet some you meet a lot of my family ‘cause it is a small town) What kinds of things do you keep from the other half of you? Hmmm For me it is being around them when I’m sick (really sick) or not wearing my glasses around them. It is a comfort thing. I’m not sure about the craziness part, I’m sure I get to be more talkative, more out going, more relaxed.

Men claim that women don't say what they mean. Well I’ll be the first to admit sometimes (not often I may go around saying what I mean) I’m not always straightforward and blunt, but 98% of the time I say what I mean like most women. Even if we say what we mean…. men don’t understand or end up reading too deep into what we are saying making it something new and meaningless or better yet they just tune us out.

When I ask for a man to pick something out to do or an opinion on something I’m looking at them participating in decision making, I don’t need them to make the right choices, just pick something or be involved in it. Like should I wear the black dress or the brown dress to dinner…doesn’t really matter to me which one, but I want participation from the man I’m dating. The question they asked to men on Oprah was if your girlfriend or wife was on a diet to loose 25-30lbs and you catch her digging into a chocolate cake what would you say or do? I don’t even know what I would do…my guess is I would give my man a stern look and take the cake into the other room and eat it myself or better yet split it so they weren’t eating as much.

Why is it that when hanging out with friends that are female you talk about guys and when hanging out with guys majority of the time all you hear about is sex related topics? If men were to write about what is important in a relationship…the main chapter would be what? *** Most women may have mentioned sex, but would have talked more about the verbal aspect of a relationship and then break that into smaller complicated parts.

Why is it women feel like they can’t eat in front of men? I know I went through that stage, but it was in high school ( I didn’t eat a lot any way) I don’t do it so much any more…I got pasted the “oh he might think I’m a pig stage” Don’t get me wrong sometimes I flat out can’t eat everything they put on a plate…most restaurants are giving double the serving size of what we should be eating. My stomach isn’t that big. Do men mind a girl who takes home a doggy bag?

Why is it that men don’t like to be challenged by women? If a women is better at something naturally over a man then the man gets a little stuck up and reserved or just all out claims they let you, the female, win at something so it wouldn’t hurt your feelings? I’m not good at a lot of things take pool for example I suck. Foosball I can kick a guys ass on if I’m in a bar and the table isn’t iced over smooth (I need friction and control). Men normally get uptight if they don’t have things their way when in comes to competition. (generalization)

What can I say on this topic…I’m not going to claim that women are more organized and generally cleaner than men…because lord knows I know that isn’t true. There are soooo many generalizations made and imbedded in us as we grow. For instance as a baby you are normally wearing a lot of pink as a girl and blue as a boy…you are playing with dolls and interested in beauty, and cooking as a girl and cars, dirt, and machinery as a boy. Those are things our own society markets as we are children. Every culture has its own ideal identity for the gender roles in their society. Times are changing...I'm not a big fan of pink (i'm trying to change it up a bit) I was the little girl who liked GI Joes, Legos, dirt, and bugs...I stilled liked Barbies, dolls, and dress up. I enjoyed having tea parties with my grandmother and gram'a Jan, but enjoyed playing on mounds of dirt a work sites of my dads.....I still don't fit any type of cookie cutter mold society would like to use on people. What kind of person are you? Are you a star shape cookie, heart, or maybe that holiday bell shape?

Well I’ve bounced around a lot in my typing today…keep in mind most things are just random.

BREAKING NEWS

Another day at home…with not a lot to do and BREAKING NEWS tomorrow is another day at home..... day 5 of missing school and day 7 of spending it alone. I want to go to school; I want to go back to work. I hope that we still get breaks that are scheduled and make up an extra week in May.

Yet another day of no school...

It was a little chilly this morning when I got up and didn't have power. Keith came down and took me to Wal-Mart (the only place that was open, the only place with electricity in the whole town, it has been closed for days) We got some clippers and trimmed the tree so that I can move my car. Today was the first day I had left my house since Friday. I was shocked at the damage all over town. This town was hit hard and I can't imagine how long it will take to clean up or where they are going to put it all.

No School AGAIN....

I'm so bored and still can't get out of my driveway...the school that I work at now has heat and power....but a water line broke so no school again tomorrow until they can get the high school cleaned up. I just got the internet to work about 5minutes ago and have been on the phone with electrical company and the cabel company...grrrr why do they always play such bad music when you are on hold, is it so people don't sing on the phone? I still have heat and water (i'm blessed) I'm just bored...going crazy from not leaving my house since friday night. Here are some more pictures!

No School

No School...I have nothing to do, but at least I have heat. Last night was a little chilly...the whole town was black...really black and I curled up in my bed with lots and lots of blankets. I'm not sure that we will have school tomorrow. If we do more branches have fallen and I can't get my car out to go there because of all the newly fallen branches.
I remember as a child ice storms weren't much fun either, I don't remember the year. I was young and it was October (right before Halloween) My sister and I were playing monopoly on her bed when the electricity went out. I remember going out to the shed to tell my dad, my mom was at work. When the electricity went out that also meant that we didn't have water either, because at that time we had well water (take electricity to pump up the water)
I remember mom bringing home pizza for dinner. When it got dark we lit the kerosene lamps all over the house and played Win Lose or Draw and 20questions. I remember not having school and the town canceling Halloween because of all the ice, snow, and cold temperatures. Well knowing that the town had already bought all that candy I remember walking a few streets with my cousin Josh and his mom. He was a lion just a mask and a tail I was some type of animal I think a peacock mask. We were both as bundled up as we could be. (we got a lot of candy that year) Ice storms...just meant that you couldn't get a glass of water from the sink...and you had a lot of time to spend playing games and playing outside. Now it is sleeping.....checking papers, and sleeping, catching up with friends on the phone.

ICE....ICE...and More ICE

I'm so glad to finally be able to get online. I haven't had cable or the Internet since Friday night and have been bored out of my mind. I can't really go anywhere and there isn't anybody to talk to. If you didn't know an ice storm has hit the lower Midwest. I've been in an ice storm before, but never have I heard or seen the damage being done (and it isn't over). I'm fortunate to have electricity most of the time, which means heat, and my tree out front hasn't gone through any windows or hit my car (so things aren’t all bad) Earlier I said I could hear the damage. Well just lying in bed you could hear the trees break and limbs fall to the ground it is an eerie feeling to hear such a sound and question where it came from. Well I don’t think we will be having school tomorrow, but who knows? I placed some pictures on here. The first one is off a bush from the first ice storm back at the end of November and now look at the bush. This is it melted.....week later!

ICE Pictures

....more pictures of the storm

What is you status?

Oprah, yes I watch it on occasion (because it is on later now) I was watching it tonight and they were talking about class…. It totally got me thinking.
What class are you in now, what class do you hope to be in some day, what class were you in as a child, does class matter? Does the “ American dream” seem real? Does a work ethic change for each class? Does your class have to do with luck, just the way you were brought up, or your parents? Questions on my mind.

3 class indicators: (according to the man on Oprah)…I just happen to agree with this.
weight, teeth, dialect (local means not as educated)

Well I personally feel like I grew up in lower class, we didn’t have a lot as children…bargin hunters were we, playing in the mud, going to work with dad. I didn’t know any different, and I didn’t feel like I stood out in school until like jr. high. In jr. high girls started wearing name brand jeans that cost $100 and I knew that that wasn’t an option…nor did I think that was a smart choice. Still to this day I’m the same way (favorite store is the Dollar Tree everything is $1.) I don’t like to pay more for a swimming suit with less material than a pair of jeans. My parents worked hard, they always worked at owning things…they own their house, they own their land…they aren’t in debt to anyone…they are on their own. They worked to graduate college and I feel that they are in the upper middle class now just looking at the amount of money that they bring it. I am in aw that they have always had a strong work ethic and spend money with the intent of bettering something and not just to be spending it.
I personally feel like I am middle class, because I have more than others material wise, I am educated (meaning I have a college education)….but financially because I’m just out of college it would appear that I’m lower class based on the $ or lack their of.
I hope to own my own house someday…and be out of dept and be rather happy just to be in middle class.
I don’t think I would want to be upper class, I want to make sure that work ethic, pride, and education is all apart of my future child’s being and knowing many people in all sorts of class levels…the upper class loses a lot of the ideals that makes America great. The gap in the U.S. is so great….there are really poor and really rich and not so many in between…I want to just be in the middle.

Frustration

Frustration of the new year…I have so much house work it is unreal, my classroom wasn’t even clean when I got back to school (janitor quit the first day of Christmas break) and then my computer crashed on the full work day we had yesterday, the day I needed to put grades in, the day I needed to make the newsletter for the new year, the day I had all day to work and research things…grrr. Today was ok. Late start day, I treated it like the first day of school review each rule and going over our positive goals in our class. I started new “club” more like tricking my students into making goals for themselves this semester. They are really getting into it. I hope they keep it up.
More frustrations….a teacher that can’t do things with their own creative spark…since the beginning of the year (he/she) has to copy everything I do, which normally won’t bother me to take an idea an run with it…but that isn’t what is going on. It is like they are lacking in the ablility to teach and no matter how many ideas I through their way they don’t truly listen because their class is just out of control and there is no going back….grrr I don’t want to say no you can’t use this or that….but when they don’t take it upon themselves to research and get ideas or what not it pisses me off. This was me venting…sorry. All I have to say is if you think that you are or wanting to be a teacher...then work towards it...set goals....it isn't all a natural ability thing...it isn't just the love of kids that makes you what you are.

Happy New Year

Bringing in the New Year, Did you A) Watch the ball drop on TV B) don't remember much of New Year's Eve because you were to trashed C) spent it with a group of your friends D) spent it alone or a sleep because it is just another day?

I was watching the ball drop on the tube and the first thing that popped into my head was, I hope that you wouldn't have to go to the restroom during that time. How do you walk through a million people on the street saying excuse me, I'm going to pee my pants, while doing it politely? The color of the night seemed to be red (was there significance around that?)

New Year’s resolution to myself: read a book (personal not for any other reason than reading it for entertainment) work on a six pack (I would be ok with a 4pk, I can dream can’t I ;-) ) I’m not saying the loose weight thing (just being sick week after week or so it feels) ummm oh I have another one. I plan on getting published or working toward that! I think that about covers it.

Have a Happy New Year