long day

So today I gave myself a scare. I left colorguard with my heart beating a mile a minute….it hurt so badly. It was like I just ran a marathon…without any training, only I didn’t so the heart just started hyper beating on its own. Not my first time, but it freaked me out because it lasted over 30minutes instead of a normal 5min. My sister and mom both have this problem, only for them it is once a year….it is like every other month for me. A month ago my sister (who is pregnant) had to go in…they gave her some type of shot, that didn’t help so she had her heart stopped and then restarted. That was my fear. I don’t trust the people at the hospital to do their job; I guess I was afraid to die or am afraid.
I was in my classroom about 10minutes after my heart started racing, my para walks in and I'm like if my heart doesn't slow down, i'm going to head to the emergency room, fyi here are my plans and a sub bag. I stayed,and she didn't seem too worked up about it. After this morning, I was completely drained of energy. I had been fine when I got up, not tired, slept well. I don't know what happened.

I don’t know many people that watch one tree hill, but I have for years. It is one of those random shows if it is on I will watch it. Well the story line is the star basketball player got shot in a gas station hold up….and in the high school lit class the students were to write down what they remembered most about Q. or they were to think about how they would be remembered. That got me thinking amongst the tears (I’m an emotional freak when it comes to death) What will people remember me by? I know for the AD that just passed away we were asked to think of fond memories of the man and I felt bad that the only memories I had were those of him from when I was in Jr. High and he felt girls, sat on girls, wore sweats, he freaked me out then and still did as a colleague. I felt bad, but what was there to say about him. So I continue to think to myself ,will people remember me for the things I’ve done, the people whose lives may have been a little more educated because of me….or is my life just another stepping stone for someone else to do great things. Am I going to be remembered by my actions, faith, love of life?