I went back home this weekend for a baby-shower, which I threw in honor of my best friend Casey. It was great to have everybody back in the area. We started talking about our 5th year class reunion and how we aren’t really sure if we want to go because it is going to be a keg on the farm with a bunch of farmers that stuck around town. I personally think it won’t be that bad if those that actually left come back so we might know where everyone is at in life. I know that I want to be a mother, I hope someday soon, but I will wait for everything to fall into place in its own time.
I went to church on Sunday. We had a visiting pastor, which means I stayed awake for the sermon. He talked about all the ways we describe Jesus: All Powerful, Almighty, All knowing, Emmanuel, Savior, Redeemer, Gracious, Mighty…and on and on. How many times do you hear that Jesus is a down to earth guy? The pastor went on to tell a story about a man that fell in to a hole, broke both his legs, and couldn’t get out. There was also a venomous snake in the hole with him ready to attack at any time. A man walked by this man was a Hindu man that leaned over the hole and told that man that he need to envision the hole as not being there and he would be free and walked on. A Buddhist walked by and told the man in the hole that he needs to let go of all desires including the desire to be set free from the hole and he would be free. Then the man continued on his way. The next man to walk by was a Muslim. He looked down at the hole and told the guy to face the city of Mecca and pray five times a day then Allah will set him free from the whole and when he was to get out of the whole he was to walk the journey to the city and pay his prayer of thanksgivings to Allah. The man continued on his way. A man who claimed to be studying Confucianism stopped by and looked down the whole and told the man if he would have been logical and thought about each step he would not have fallen in the hole to begin with and felt no pity for the man and walked on his way. The next man to walk by was Jesus. Without saying a word he jumped down into the hole and lifted the man out of the hole into the sunlight. In the process the snake bit him and he died. Pastor told us that was how we describe the name Jesus. A Savior. A man who came down to earth just to dig us out of sins and to take away the death we should have had. Jesus is our down to earth man.
The last few weeks I have been struggling in life, no lie. I think about the direction my life is to lead me and while I thought I had everything figured out everything took a right turn and led me into a brick wall. While I’m still loving my student teaching experience I question my next step. I’m not sure where I want to teach, what I want to teach…do I want to stay in Iowa, do I want to do special education. I know that I don’t need to worry about these things but I don’t want to end up on my own all alone teaching at a school living in a small town ALONE. I fear that I’m going to end up that old lady on the corner with lots of cats. And I don’t even like cats… Sad picture I know, but I feel a little lost right now. I planning a going out on Friday, maybe that is what the doctor ordered a sober night of dinner and dancing!
Tonight my prayer is for my heart that it can mend from all its brokenness, that it won’t give up on what it is to find or what it has all ready found and is waiting for.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Curve Ball
Life seems to throw curve balls when you least expect them. My life feels like it is in a dryer right now. I really thought things were working out for me that everything was fitting together like a puzzle should….but no I must have been dreaming because I sure got awoken suddenly. I like to dream…..
Student teaching is going well, I pray for my kids daily because I never know if they are going to be returning to school the next day and if they do what kind of moods they will be in.
I have learned being in education that you have to put on a mask…people expect you to be a certain way all the time…they expect you to be on top of everything, covering all the ground needed with a smile no matter what happened 3mins before they walked in the room or the two hours of sleep you got before teaching a reading lesson.
I feel like I walk through life like that…hiding behind a mask, not that I always mean to, but I fear wearing my heart on my sleeve because it might hurt others and show others how hurt I really am. Did you know that I get hurt, that I get scared…but I have learned to pray…and to take a stand “have some balls”
Grrrr. I have so much anger in me, I wish I had a punching bag. I don’t have anger against others…more with myself. Maybe I’m to hard on myself (I know that am)
That is all I have in me to write about, I’m off to bed.
Student teaching is going well, I pray for my kids daily because I never know if they are going to be returning to school the next day and if they do what kind of moods they will be in.
I have learned being in education that you have to put on a mask…people expect you to be a certain way all the time…they expect you to be on top of everything, covering all the ground needed with a smile no matter what happened 3mins before they walked in the room or the two hours of sleep you got before teaching a reading lesson.
I feel like I walk through life like that…hiding behind a mask, not that I always mean to, but I fear wearing my heart on my sleeve because it might hurt others and show others how hurt I really am. Did you know that I get hurt, that I get scared…but I have learned to pray…and to take a stand “have some balls”
Grrrr. I have so much anger in me, I wish I had a punching bag. I don’t have anger against others…more with myself. Maybe I’m to hard on myself (I know that am)
That is all I have in me to write about, I’m off to bed.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Wow....
There is nothing like wearing shorts and a t-shirt in IOWA in January! I hope everybody enjoyed the beautiful weather God has given us the last few days. Wow.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
just another day
I haven't had lot of time to write. I have been taking the time to work out after teaching all day and then going to bed early when not at church.
There is some unusual weather here in Iowa about 4pm it was 51degrees and it is January. My mouth is dropped open too. I don't tend to write to much here just because I have to keep a journal for student teaching which takes a lot of time out of my day. I have enjoyed my student teaching thus far, have been learning a lot, and have been gaining a lot of resources. I am learning to deal with a lot of issues that are within the school...fun stuff.
quote from last night's devo "school is like toilet paper long and useful."
Monday, January 09, 2006
Loved to be Loved
Today the thing that brighten my day was a little hello email note from a boy who misses me a lot (m.a.c). I miss all my kids from work, but this made my day. It is like walking into my first classroom the other day and they had all made me pictures. ( i don't start in that room until March) I love to get little notes in the mail or little sticky notes on my car just to say hello. it makes me feel all warm and cozy.
God Bless
God Bless
Friday, January 06, 2006
Just another day....
I have now visited both of my classes and I’m so excited to start on Tuesday. I got to watch my nephew today...we took a nap together. I miss all of my kids very much and I want to call them and stop by to see them, but I know that I have to move on. I called up a superintendent today that I know very well for a recommendation, he wants me to teach in his district and I was calling so he can help me get into a different one….does that make me a bad person. I don’t want to be stuck in the small town where I grew up, 13 years in a district is long enough. I know some people have already started teaching, and while I’m in a hurry I felt is best to leave my place of employment when I did for a reason. So far this New Year has started out a little rocky; I pray that all gets better from here. I wrote in a card to send to a friend today that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, I hope I can cope with everything heading my way.
Oh side note and invite…dancing….tomorrow night…ames?
Something on my mind…what are traditions that you have with your family?
Oh side note and invite…dancing….tomorrow night…ames?
Something on my mind…what are traditions that you have with your family?
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Unemployed
Unemployed: Not having a paying job.....student teaching as much work as it is going to be....doesn't pay the bills.
Wow, to be unemployed for the first time in 10 years….it feels kind of weird.
Yesterday was it….my boss didn’t schedule me to work on my last day (I would say it was an accident…but I know it wasn’t) I went any way….my kids mean the world to me and I was in tears for a good chunk of the day. The hardest was Matt (the tongue picture from previous post) he means so much to me and he has been distraught over this for weeks. And I wasn’t there Tuesday because my best friend Casey had a beautiful baby girl Kyra Payton born 1-3-06 at 9:18 7 lbs. 13 oz. and 19 ½ inches long. I drove down there as soon as I knew she was in labor. Matt was so sad all day because they started back to school yesterday and he had intended on spending the whole day with me. He made a gift just for me and not only was he crying in the hall and would let go of me…but his little brother and his dad even started to cry. That was the hardest good bye I have done in a long time and I am hoping to see him soon too….oh the tears.
After work a bunch of us went for a drink I had a “Kristy” and some nachos Mmmm. And everyone else was having a great time. I’m going to miss my kids and some of my co-workers. I’m off to go meet my kindergarten co-op teacher. Have a wonderful day!
Wow, to be unemployed for the first time in 10 years….it feels kind of weird.
Yesterday was it….my boss didn’t schedule me to work on my last day (I would say it was an accident…but I know it wasn’t) I went any way….my kids mean the world to me and I was in tears for a good chunk of the day. The hardest was Matt (the tongue picture from previous post) he means so much to me and he has been distraught over this for weeks. And I wasn’t there Tuesday because my best friend Casey had a beautiful baby girl Kyra Payton born 1-3-06 at 9:18 7 lbs. 13 oz. and 19 ½ inches long. I drove down there as soon as I knew she was in labor. Matt was so sad all day because they started back to school yesterday and he had intended on spending the whole day with me. He made a gift just for me and not only was he crying in the hall and would let go of me…but his little brother and his dad even started to cry. That was the hardest good bye I have done in a long time and I am hoping to see him soon too….oh the tears.
After work a bunch of us went for a drink I had a “Kristy” and some nachos Mmmm. And everyone else was having a great time. I’m going to miss my kids and some of my co-workers. I’m off to go meet my kindergarten co-op teacher. Have a wonderful day!
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Crack Pot
January 1st 2006
Let me start off saying Happy New Year!
Wow does it feel weird to write the 06. It is now about 2am an I was the police chief…but my star-crossed-lover Jodi died so I then jumped off the cliff and fell to my death as well…but not before finding out who one of the four mafia members were.
The fire tonight was just barely a spark….our sins must have been hard ones to get rid of cause they did not want to burn. We brought in the new year with a spark of a fire that was lit just with a piece of paper and some diesel fuel, Holy Communion with one another, and with a lot of hugs.
Before heading out to the Breezy Point Pastor O talked about how we are all crack pots. Yes you read that correctly we are crack pots….we have flaws (what were you thinking???hmmm). Back in the day in the markets the women would go out and buy their pots to cook with and the makers would use wax and melt over the cracks so that you wouldn’t know it when you bought it, but you would soon find out come some heat that the pot was no good and would often time explode. So some sale’s men would write a word similar to sincerely at the bottom of the pot. Sincerely you know the kind we write at the bottom of letters. Well it mean genuine or real. Which really fits in well with our topic about “Does God except Plastic?” Well with sincerely written on it they knew that they didn’t have crack that it was really the real deal. We are like that pot with a crack…
Let me start off saying Happy New Year!
Wow does it feel weird to write the 06. It is now about 2am an I was the police chief…but my star-crossed-lover Jodi died so I then jumped off the cliff and fell to my death as well…but not before finding out who one of the four mafia members were.
The fire tonight was just barely a spark….our sins must have been hard ones to get rid of cause they did not want to burn. We brought in the new year with a spark of a fire that was lit just with a piece of paper and some diesel fuel, Holy Communion with one another, and with a lot of hugs.
Before heading out to the Breezy Point Pastor O talked about how we are all crack pots. Yes you read that correctly we are crack pots….we have flaws (what were you thinking???hmmm). Back in the day in the markets the women would go out and buy their pots to cook with and the makers would use wax and melt over the cracks so that you wouldn’t know it when you bought it, but you would soon find out come some heat that the pot was no good and would often time explode. So some sale’s men would write a word similar to sincerely at the bottom of the pot. Sincerely you know the kind we write at the bottom of letters. Well it mean genuine or real. Which really fits in well with our topic about “Does God except Plastic?” Well with sincerely written on it they knew that they didn’t have crack that it was really the real deal. We are like that pot with a crack…
Saturday, December 31, 2005
New Year's Eve
Well it is the day before the New Year. I have spent it waiting for the phone to ring to tell me if my best friend is going into labor, watching the ISU game that was deeply saddening, and talking more about the book of James how things tempt us in our daily life.
Some of the great wonders of the year I’m going to bring into light with a few words from the New Testament. The key words to focus on here are freedom. Freedom that Chris has set us free. Galatians 5
Last year was my first year for a New Years resolution….it wasn’t about getting thin or eating healthy…it was about focusing more on Christ. This year my resolution will be that of running the race. I don’t mean running the race like a marathon like my friend Mr. GQ, but running a race of truth, running the race with endurance toward Christ. We have been talking a lot about good works in the book of James and one of the verses we look at as Lutherans is from the book of Ephesians chapter 2 verse 8-10 “For it is by Grace you have been save, through faith and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
A lot of what we talked about this weekend, put us “Lutherans” in our place, it helped us to remember that when we say that it is by Grace we have been saved, by faith we have been saved….but those actions that we aren’t required to do….are things that we should be doing. Actions like helping your neighbor scoop the snow or the kindness of cleaning up trash in a local park as you walk on the sidewalk. I know that like most people I have this split personality…I go to church but then I leave and some times my actions don’t reflect that. Does it mean that as a Christian I’m not going to mess up…I’m a sinner just like everyone else. Have I gone to the bar on a Saturday night and gotten up for church the next day knowing that there were things I did and said that were wrong….you bet I have. This year I’m going to focus on my actions…how do people see me as a Christian?
New Years resolution: remind myself daily of the actions I should be portraying to help me grow in my faith and to show others my faith…(not just telling them) What does telling some one something going to prove…is giving someone a Bible going to help them or encourage them to want to come to know Christ ( I think not)
In our lesson today we talked about how in most cases we are defined by what we do….is that always true tho? Is what we do something that makes us who we are. It may seem that way, but shouldn’t it be who we are defining the kinds of things we do? I am a Christian so shouldn’t that define the things that I do in my life? Some words to ponder.
Right now is the time were we take about an hour and meditate on things like God’s word and how things have been building up on our hearts we have been putting our sins into the sin box and are getting ready to burn them up to help us recognize how God takes our sins and forgives them…we don’t have to hold on to sooooo much in our lives. God takes all of our burdens.
May God’s blessings be with you on this up coming new year! The Lord has set before us all a race that we can finish with His help. He isn’t going to put something in front of us that we cannot handle. We may walk into a situation where we might not think that we are the right person for the job, but he will equip us with the mean of making it through things. “the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.”
Dear Lord, I know that I have so much on my mind…there are people that I wish I could be with, but can’t be this holiday season. This up coming year I pray that I have the opportunity to know love, Romans 12:9 I feel I have a lot of it in my life, but some times I take it for granted. Lord I ask The to help me show the love I have with others. Lord I pray for those I have met this weekend that are new into my heart may you bless them with safe travel home. May you be with Karin as she travels back to Ghana in January. Please be with Mark as he is serving you in Taiwan and our friend Drew in Kenya. Lord I also ask you to be with those who are like me and are getting ready to go out and student teach. Be with us and we trend in unfamiliar water Lord. May this year bring us al hope and happiness, but yet may we find some struggles and some hardships along the way that will help us grow in our faith in you oh Lord. Thank you for all the blessing you have poured out upon us on Lord. Amen.
*Warning if eye contact with other person screaming must be intense! *
Some of the great wonders of the year I’m going to bring into light with a few words from the New Testament. The key words to focus on here are freedom. Freedom that Chris has set us free. Galatians 5
Last year was my first year for a New Years resolution….it wasn’t about getting thin or eating healthy…it was about focusing more on Christ. This year my resolution will be that of running the race. I don’t mean running the race like a marathon like my friend Mr. GQ, but running a race of truth, running the race with endurance toward Christ. We have been talking a lot about good works in the book of James and one of the verses we look at as Lutherans is from the book of Ephesians chapter 2 verse 8-10 “For it is by Grace you have been save, through faith and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
A lot of what we talked about this weekend, put us “Lutherans” in our place, it helped us to remember that when we say that it is by Grace we have been saved, by faith we have been saved….but those actions that we aren’t required to do….are things that we should be doing. Actions like helping your neighbor scoop the snow or the kindness of cleaning up trash in a local park as you walk on the sidewalk. I know that like most people I have this split personality…I go to church but then I leave and some times my actions don’t reflect that. Does it mean that as a Christian I’m not going to mess up…I’m a sinner just like everyone else. Have I gone to the bar on a Saturday night and gotten up for church the next day knowing that there were things I did and said that were wrong….you bet I have. This year I’m going to focus on my actions…how do people see me as a Christian?
New Years resolution: remind myself daily of the actions I should be portraying to help me grow in my faith and to show others my faith…(not just telling them) What does telling some one something going to prove…is giving someone a Bible going to help them or encourage them to want to come to know Christ ( I think not)
In our lesson today we talked about how in most cases we are defined by what we do….is that always true tho? Is what we do something that makes us who we are. It may seem that way, but shouldn’t it be who we are defining the kinds of things we do? I am a Christian so shouldn’t that define the things that I do in my life? Some words to ponder.
Right now is the time were we take about an hour and meditate on things like God’s word and how things have been building up on our hearts we have been putting our sins into the sin box and are getting ready to burn them up to help us recognize how God takes our sins and forgives them…we don’t have to hold on to sooooo much in our lives. God takes all of our burdens.
May God’s blessings be with you on this up coming new year! The Lord has set before us all a race that we can finish with His help. He isn’t going to put something in front of us that we cannot handle. We may walk into a situation where we might not think that we are the right person for the job, but he will equip us with the mean of making it through things. “the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.”
Dear Lord, I know that I have so much on my mind…there are people that I wish I could be with, but can’t be this holiday season. This up coming year I pray that I have the opportunity to know love, Romans 12:9 I feel I have a lot of it in my life, but some times I take it for granted. Lord I ask The to help me show the love I have with others. Lord I pray for those I have met this weekend that are new into my heart may you bless them with safe travel home. May you be with Karin as she travels back to Ghana in January. Please be with Mark as he is serving you in Taiwan and our friend Drew in Kenya. Lord I also ask you to be with those who are like me and are getting ready to go out and student teach. Be with us and we trend in unfamiliar water Lord. May this year bring us al hope and happiness, but yet may we find some struggles and some hardships along the way that will help us grow in our faith in you oh Lord. Thank you for all the blessing you have poured out upon us on Lord. Amen.
*Warning if eye contact with other person screaming must be intense! *
Friday, December 30, 2005
RUSH
Happy birthday to Jason, your mom had a wonderful keg for you and cake….way to chug the whole mug full!
You can’t really beat root beer with ice cream and marble cake….MMmmmm
Well here I am at RUSH, ready to relax and enjoy. We did some games to help us get to know each other, sang some music, talked about God and started our skit in our small groups for tomorrow night.
Our focus is on the book James. Not a common book for a Lutheran to focus on because it is the one book that the Catholic church used to defend its practices and used to say that it is not just GRACE that we are saved by but works. I encourage you to take a deeper look with me. We are talking about James the brother of Jesus…. well being his brother why didn’t he write about his brothers birth and resurrection. Well I think it is because he knew things had been written and foretold…why waste the paper. He knew that as a Christian that we might need to focus on how other see us and how we can share the love of God with others.
Number one topic of the day is does God take plastic. I will admit the thing I thought of first was Barbie…I don’t know why maybe it was the special I saw the other day on old toys. I thought, does God except those who walk around, think they are perfect, think they are built and can hide all transgressions.
What are some of the biggest trails and temptations in your life? Does the process of temptation James described in James 1 verse 13-15 fit your experience? I think that the temptation James is talking about is so broad that it just may, and does cover almost everything that tempts me. What kinds of things are tempting me right now? Well things that are tempting me our boys…flirtation, hmmm, food tempts me, sleep even temps me.
In our society today we can be tempted by the smallest things and there are so many thought running through my head. I realize that I’m not perfect, but I should be trying to make a better impression with others about how I portray my Christian faith. I will admit I have gone to church events and then later on headed out to go dancing. Do I see anything wrong with that….well it weighs on my heart some days, but not all the time so I guess that may be a bad thing. I know that one of my biggest temptations is not to try to tempt others as much as I want something I may not always get what I want, I need to except that…I need to come to terms with my life and that things happen for a reason, I need to start looking at the details and not just where I see myself.
In the sin box the things I shall put and burn are: tempting others, doubt, worry, selfishness, and hard headedness, temptation that I get from others, excuses that I make for things, for lies, for miss leading
You can’t really beat root beer with ice cream and marble cake….MMmmmm
Well here I am at RUSH, ready to relax and enjoy. We did some games to help us get to know each other, sang some music, talked about God and started our skit in our small groups for tomorrow night.
Our focus is on the book James. Not a common book for a Lutheran to focus on because it is the one book that the Catholic church used to defend its practices and used to say that it is not just GRACE that we are saved by but works. I encourage you to take a deeper look with me. We are talking about James the brother of Jesus…. well being his brother why didn’t he write about his brothers birth and resurrection. Well I think it is because he knew things had been written and foretold…why waste the paper. He knew that as a Christian that we might need to focus on how other see us and how we can share the love of God with others.
Number one topic of the day is does God take plastic. I will admit the thing I thought of first was Barbie…I don’t know why maybe it was the special I saw the other day on old toys. I thought, does God except those who walk around, think they are perfect, think they are built and can hide all transgressions.
What are some of the biggest trails and temptations in your life? Does the process of temptation James described in James 1 verse 13-15 fit your experience? I think that the temptation James is talking about is so broad that it just may, and does cover almost everything that tempts me. What kinds of things are tempting me right now? Well things that are tempting me our boys…flirtation, hmmm, food tempts me, sleep even temps me.
In our society today we can be tempted by the smallest things and there are so many thought running through my head. I realize that I’m not perfect, but I should be trying to make a better impression with others about how I portray my Christian faith. I will admit I have gone to church events and then later on headed out to go dancing. Do I see anything wrong with that….well it weighs on my heart some days, but not all the time so I guess that may be a bad thing. I know that one of my biggest temptations is not to try to tempt others as much as I want something I may not always get what I want, I need to except that…I need to come to terms with my life and that things happen for a reason, I need to start looking at the details and not just where I see myself.
In the sin box the things I shall put and burn are: tempting others, doubt, worry, selfishness, and hard headedness, temptation that I get from others, excuses that I make for things, for lies, for miss leading
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause"
Santa…
Big jolly fat man with red rosy cheeks that brings us presents during the holiday season.
One of the topics of a hot discussion with a friend last night was “when did you stop believing in Santa?” I was in grade school; pretty young, my mom says Santa didn’t really faze me. When would you tell your child or have told your child that Santa isn’t real or would you. Would you even let them believe in a figure such as that of Santa, the Easter bunny, or the tooth fairy?
Kind of almost spilled the beans last year, almost told a kid Santa wasn’t real…oops
Exception would be if they caught mommy kissing Santa…then it might have to be explained earlier but,
I think that I would wait until my child was at least 7 before telling them.
The thought of not giving children that little part of magic in their lives is kind of sad.
Haven’t you ever wanted something to be true just keep dreams alive?
What is your Santa story…or the tooth fairy?
That is all I got for tonight. As of today I have one week until my last day of work. (only 2 days or actual work tho.) L
I went grocery shopping for the first time in a month and a half…my mom wasn’t happy with me just eating crackers so I’m going to go eat some dinner!
Dream Sweet
Big jolly fat man with red rosy cheeks that brings us presents during the holiday season.
One of the topics of a hot discussion with a friend last night was “when did you stop believing in Santa?” I was in grade school; pretty young, my mom says Santa didn’t really faze me. When would you tell your child or have told your child that Santa isn’t real or would you. Would you even let them believe in a figure such as that of Santa, the Easter bunny, or the tooth fairy?
Kind of almost spilled the beans last year, almost told a kid Santa wasn’t real…oops
Exception would be if they caught mommy kissing Santa…then it might have to be explained earlier but,
I think that I would wait until my child was at least 7 before telling them.
The thought of not giving children that little part of magic in their lives is kind of sad.
Haven’t you ever wanted something to be true just keep dreams alive?
What is your Santa story…or the tooth fairy?
That is all I got for tonight. As of today I have one week until my last day of work. (only 2 days or actual work tho.) L
I went grocery shopping for the first time in a month and a half…my mom wasn’t happy with me just eating crackers so I’m going to go eat some dinner!
Dream Sweet
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
“George Bailey Experience”
So I have been working on my blog, I’ve been a little bored. I decided to go back to when I began my blog in January and reread some of my past thoughts on the year and spend some time reflecting on them. I ran across one that sparked my interest, being the Christmas season, my brother-in-law has a tradition of watching the black and white version of Miracle on 34th Street and It’s a Wonderful Life.
Have you ever thought about what life would be like if you had never been born? Jeremiah did. (Jeremiah 20:14 talks about how Jeremiah wishes he was never born)He was set up to fail in this world…to go through life telling the people of his time about the love of God…and was persecuted for it. Who would have thought back then that we would be reading about his struggles this far into the future? His life has defiantly influenced people’s life. Can you say that about your life? Have you made a difference in someone’s life in the slightest way or better yet who has influenced your own life? Matthew10:41-42 is saying that the smallest act done out of love, God remembers. John 6 is the story of the feeding of the 5,000 men where a small boy had a small amount of food, but when it was blessed it could feed so many. It wasn’t that God couldn’t do any of this within the snap of fingers, but it is obvious to us now that he used that boy so we could see his contribution and remember it. This shows me how we can take something so small and make it grow into something spectacular because God chooses to use us to serve Him. Matthew 26:6 is a story that includes a bottle of perfume and an act of a young woman that was remembered throughout history. In the movie It’s a "Wonderful Life", George Bailey goes through a night in his life if he was not even born and only then did he see that he made a huge difference in the lives of the people around him no matter how insignificant his life truly seemed to him. Please realize that every life has a purpose everyone is important. We have a chance to have this “George Bailey experience” when we enter the kingdom of God, the Day of Judgment. Matthew: 25:31 says this is when we will see how full our cup really is and how Christ’s love leads us. Look at your life today and see what and who influences you, are you showing the love of God in even the smallest ways?
The comment that followed was a quote from and unknown author "Most of us miss out on life's big prizes. The Pulitzer. The Nobel. Oscars. Tonys. Emmys. But we're all eligible for life's small pleasures. A pat on the back. A kiss behind the ear. A four-pound bass. A full moon. An empty parking space. A crackling fire. A great meal. A glorious sunset. Hot soup. Cold beer."
Do you feel like you missed out on something great, that the people around you are the ones you took for granted, the ones you didn’t take the time to get to know at all? I feel that way right now about so many people. Maybe it is the thought that everyone seems to be moving on with life and I’m in a comfort zone and don’t want things to change but know that they have to. That I have to move out of this town and find new friends, a new church, new places to do fun and exciting things. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and realize that everything in my life is new and different when I like things the way they are. It is like throwing out your favorite pair of jeans the one with all the holes, that you just got comfortable, when you try on jeans at a store they don’t feel the same, it takes a lot to get them all worked in and cozy again. Questions I ask myself: What are some of the things that are important in my life and how am I utilizing my time for them…where is my focus? If I were to not have been born would that have played a role in others lives? I asked a good friend the other day…well more like told him my theory. I think we all serve a purpose in the lives of people we meet, even if it is just for a second. Our purpose may have been a “wawhoo, I know why I know you” or a done the line five years. “one time the person showed me…” I think that people walk in and out of our lives for a reason even if it is something small like a sales man telling you that pink really isn’t your color…I’m sure there is significance down the line for that…do you get what I’m saying? I think we are all important and connected in a way an to question why you are here and asking to be nonexistence changes everyone else around you and those lives that you have impacted.
Have you ever thought about what life would be like if you had never been born? Jeremiah did. (Jeremiah 20:14 talks about how Jeremiah wishes he was never born)He was set up to fail in this world…to go through life telling the people of his time about the love of God…and was persecuted for it. Who would have thought back then that we would be reading about his struggles this far into the future? His life has defiantly influenced people’s life. Can you say that about your life? Have you made a difference in someone’s life in the slightest way or better yet who has influenced your own life? Matthew10:41-42 is saying that the smallest act done out of love, God remembers. John 6 is the story of the feeding of the 5,000 men where a small boy had a small amount of food, but when it was blessed it could feed so many. It wasn’t that God couldn’t do any of this within the snap of fingers, but it is obvious to us now that he used that boy so we could see his contribution and remember it. This shows me how we can take something so small and make it grow into something spectacular because God chooses to use us to serve Him. Matthew 26:6 is a story that includes a bottle of perfume and an act of a young woman that was remembered throughout history. In the movie It’s a "Wonderful Life", George Bailey goes through a night in his life if he was not even born and only then did he see that he made a huge difference in the lives of the people around him no matter how insignificant his life truly seemed to him. Please realize that every life has a purpose everyone is important. We have a chance to have this “George Bailey experience” when we enter the kingdom of God, the Day of Judgment. Matthew: 25:31 says this is when we will see how full our cup really is and how Christ’s love leads us. Look at your life today and see what and who influences you, are you showing the love of God in even the smallest ways?
The comment that followed was a quote from and unknown author "Most of us miss out on life's big prizes. The Pulitzer. The Nobel. Oscars. Tonys. Emmys. But we're all eligible for life's small pleasures. A pat on the back. A kiss behind the ear. A four-pound bass. A full moon. An empty parking space. A crackling fire. A great meal. A glorious sunset. Hot soup. Cold beer."
Do you feel like you missed out on something great, that the people around you are the ones you took for granted, the ones you didn’t take the time to get to know at all? I feel that way right now about so many people. Maybe it is the thought that everyone seems to be moving on with life and I’m in a comfort zone and don’t want things to change but know that they have to. That I have to move out of this town and find new friends, a new church, new places to do fun and exciting things. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and realize that everything in my life is new and different when I like things the way they are. It is like throwing out your favorite pair of jeans the one with all the holes, that you just got comfortable, when you try on jeans at a store they don’t feel the same, it takes a lot to get them all worked in and cozy again. Questions I ask myself: What are some of the things that are important in my life and how am I utilizing my time for them…where is my focus? If I were to not have been born would that have played a role in others lives? I asked a good friend the other day…well more like told him my theory. I think we all serve a purpose in the lives of people we meet, even if it is just for a second. Our purpose may have been a “wawhoo, I know why I know you” or a done the line five years. “one time the person showed me…” I think that people walk in and out of our lives for a reason even if it is something small like a sales man telling you that pink really isn’t your color…I’m sure there is significance down the line for that…do you get what I’m saying? I think we are all important and connected in a way an to question why you are here and asking to be nonexistence changes everyone else around you and those lives that you have impacted.
Warmth
What is your New Year’s Eve plan? Party plans….family plans….?
I’m going to RUSH, a college retreat at Okoboji. My friends want me to stick around Ames…and my family I’m sure would love it if I came home to celebrate. Well tough luck cause I will be spending with friends and strangers talking about God’s love. I tell people that at mid-night I will be standing by a bonfire, burning up the sin box, and having Holy Communion, how could New Year’s Eve get better than that? I will admit it would be nice to go out dancing or having that New Year kiss wearing a little party hat and making lots of noise. But a bonfire is a fantastic way to spend the holiday and a way to look at the past year and reflect on our decisions. The crackling of the logs with red embers glowing, standing up close feeling the heat, wishing you had a bag of marshmallow to roast..MMmmmm.
“The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.” John 1:9
Jesus is our spiritual bonfire. Christ gives us the light of salvation in our dark world. We feel the warmth of His love when He forgives us and keeps us close to Him. Just like a bonfire doesn’t move away from us, so Jesus never leaves us either, even though we sometimes walk away or step back from Him. When we step back or walk away from a fire that is in the deep woods or out on side a lake, you can start to see how cold and dark it can be without it. We can invite people to come close to the fire with us and feel the warmth, the love of Christ. Bonfires make me feel all cozy and warm.
Other notes on my mind… The last few nights I have been dreaming of the future…literally. Last night I dreamt of my future home…me painting walls, moving in. The night before thatI dreamt of me working at a job…some school, who knows where, but it was nice and the night before that a wedding. Why…I can’t make it go away. Is this a sign I need to figure out where my life is going…I will admit I kind of wish I knew….but it doesn’t mean that I want to dream about. I’m weird I know.
I know what I want right now it is getting there and trying to get that other person to realize I don’t want to do it alone.
Dream Sweet…
I’m going to RUSH, a college retreat at Okoboji. My friends want me to stick around Ames…and my family I’m sure would love it if I came home to celebrate. Well tough luck cause I will be spending with friends and strangers talking about God’s love. I tell people that at mid-night I will be standing by a bonfire, burning up the sin box, and having Holy Communion, how could New Year’s Eve get better than that? I will admit it would be nice to go out dancing or having that New Year kiss wearing a little party hat and making lots of noise. But a bonfire is a fantastic way to spend the holiday and a way to look at the past year and reflect on our decisions. The crackling of the logs with red embers glowing, standing up close feeling the heat, wishing you had a bag of marshmallow to roast..MMmmmm.
“The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.” John 1:9
Jesus is our spiritual bonfire. Christ gives us the light of salvation in our dark world. We feel the warmth of His love when He forgives us and keeps us close to Him. Just like a bonfire doesn’t move away from us, so Jesus never leaves us either, even though we sometimes walk away or step back from Him. When we step back or walk away from a fire that is in the deep woods or out on side a lake, you can start to see how cold and dark it can be without it. We can invite people to come close to the fire with us and feel the warmth, the love of Christ. Bonfires make me feel all cozy and warm.
Other notes on my mind… The last few nights I have been dreaming of the future…literally. Last night I dreamt of my future home…me painting walls, moving in. The night before thatI dreamt of me working at a job…some school, who knows where, but it was nice and the night before that a wedding. Why…I can’t make it go away. Is this a sign I need to figure out where my life is going…I will admit I kind of wish I knew….but it doesn’t mean that I want to dream about. I’m weird I know.
I know what I want right now it is getting there and trying to get that other person to realize I don’t want to do it alone.
Dream Sweet…
Monday, December 26, 2005
Christmas Pictures:John's First Christmas
This is John on Christmas Eve.
Santa hat is waaaaay to big
Me -n- John
First Picture with Santa!
He doesn't even know what Christmas is...and he slept through all the unwrapping of gifts....so we couldn't even put bows on him!
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas....now to head back to work huh, no more 4 day weekend!
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Twas the morning of Christmas
when all throw the house...every one was stirring except for the mouse. All the stocking were hung from the staircase so fine while my little nephew sleeps with no sugar plums on his mind.
Merry Christmas….
I’m up and at them at 8am you think that there were little kids in the house awaiting Santa. Nope just my nefew who is snoring on his parents bed…and my sister’s in-laws telling old stories with no entertainment value. My parents are on their way up and gifts are sitting underneath the tree still trimmed in all their paper and bows.
This mornings movie pick is Gladiator….I’m not a big fan of “It’s a Wonderful Life”
I watched some show about toys when I was growing up. Legos, Lincoln Logs, Barbies, GIJoes the works…the original Life game, and Monopoly, even Ninja Turtles. Memories of childhood…oh the days.
Have a Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas….
I’m up and at them at 8am you think that there were little kids in the house awaiting Santa. Nope just my nefew who is snoring on his parents bed…and my sister’s in-laws telling old stories with no entertainment value. My parents are on their way up and gifts are sitting underneath the tree still trimmed in all their paper and bows.
This mornings movie pick is Gladiator….I’m not a big fan of “It’s a Wonderful Life”
I watched some show about toys when I was growing up. Legos, Lincoln Logs, Barbies, GIJoes the works…the original Life game, and Monopoly, even Ninja Turtles. Memories of childhood…oh the days.
Have a Merry Christmas
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Merry Christmas.....Light of the World.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas with lots of safe travel. Besides drinking egg nog, unwrapping one gift (tradition), going to a candle lit service, playing games, and getting to visit santa...i will admit I'm kind of bored. The weather isn't so sunny but that is ok.
At church tonight the pastor talked about the light of the world...Jesus can't be a flash light, he can't be a lava lamp, not even a spot light....because they aren't bright enough, they don't reach out to everyone who needs it. We have the light of Jesus in our hearts...and that light we can shine throughout the world.
Remember the reason for the Season....is Christ our Lord
Merry CHRISTmas to all and to all a good night.
Ps. i have pictures....but if they didn't load....I'm sorry i'll post them when i get home...cause they are super cute
At church tonight the pastor talked about the light of the world...Jesus can't be a flash light, he can't be a lava lamp, not even a spot light....because they aren't bright enough, they don't reach out to everyone who needs it. We have the light of Jesus in our hearts...and that light we can shine throughout the world.
Remember the reason for the Season....is Christ our Lord
Merry CHRISTmas to all and to all a good night.
Ps. i have pictures....but if they didn't load....I'm sorry i'll post them when i get home...cause they are super cute
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Gift Wrapped
This month was my grandfather’s birthday; I drove by the cemetery where he is buried when I was home this weekend. For the first year after his death I gave excuse after excuse not to go out there to his gravestone. I couldn’t bring myself to go because of fear of letting go. My grandpa and I were so close. His house was my second home in high school, cause I never had time to drive home. The problem with that is that I needed a bottle of Fribreez stuck in my car so I wouldn’t smell like smoke when heading to activities. (smoking…number one reason I hate it is because as a child I breathed in a lot of second hand smoke….he started when he was a young boy a box came along with their pay in the Army….my grandpa lost a lung when I was early on in grade school…that didn’t really teach him did it, he tried lots of times to quit) My grandpa and I loved to watch CMT, when I was going throw my country music stage (you know you had one too), we use to do craft items like jewelry or buttons. He use to sit in the living room with me with legos covering the floor and would build with me until it was his nap time. Monday I had bacon for lunch…we had the same taste in foods of all kinds, bacon was one of our favorites….he knew how to cook it just the way I liked it. I remember one time at Thanksgiving dinner I asked for seconds on mashed potatoes and he literally fell off his chair (for a long time I hated potatoes) Even our dessert tastes were the same…apple pie only he didn’t like cinnamon as much as me. 4 years in a row I crashed on his couch after prom so I could get up and walk a block to church. My grandpa never really went to church, but we talked about it some times. He was baptized as an adult and sometimes would go when the boys were young. I miss him greatly….I bet you are wondering why I’m writing this well I was wrapping up my dad’s gift tonight and it brings up memories for me…every Christmas we use to go get a Budweiser stein (special edition that comes out at Christmas) My grandfather use to be a big Budweiser junkie…lots of paraphernalia. My dad now owns the collection even though he doesn’t really drink. When we built the addition to our house we built a shelf for just the purpose of displaying these steins…the go all the way across. I guess I buy the stein for my dad because in a way it is bringing my grandpa to our Christmas celebration. This is my tradition.
Sorry if my posts have gotten a little long…just thinking of all the memories that come with the season!
Merry CHRISTmas
Sorry if my posts have gotten a little long…just thinking of all the memories that come with the season!
Merry CHRISTmas
Monday, December 19, 2005
Memories
Can you only imagine….
Being a young woman, visited by a heavenly figure, with news that you are with a child. If it were me I would be in shock….dumb founded….at the thinking stage of why, what, when, how, denial…denial would be a feeling I think that would have over come me. A mother with child without sex, conception without sperm from a man….hmmm With all the science they have today nothing would shock me, but this Christmas carol isn’t based on the here and now.
And what about a man, who in fear took his wife pregnant with a child he knows isn’t his. Wouldn’t there be a lot of doubt, lack of trust….?
God does such wonderful things.
There are many stories that people know that go along with Christmas tradition.
“You’ll shoot your eye out,” “my teacher says every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings,” or “Ba-hum, bug”
My favorite Christmas story comes from the Good Book, you can’t really beat the true reason we celebrate Christmas. I know that this isn’t really the day we celebrate Christ’s Birthday, but it is a day like other holidays that we use it to represent something so that we take the time to recognize it. I’m busy just like other people, heck I haven’t even really done the whole Christmas shopping (and I don’t plan on it) we pass over things if not reminded. I almost even forgot my grandmother’s own birthday today because I have been focused on everything else and there wasn’t something to remind me, normally she is around so I remember that it is coming because we plan special dinners or what not. The last couple of years it has just been slipping tho, cause I never see her. Kendra (my cousin) and I were talking (via email) about how the holidays aren’t really the same because none of us really get together for the holidays like we use to when we were kids, cause grandma’s moved on and moved away.
I remember one Christmas my uncle brought home a girl. I was in kindergarten and I was use to Russ bringing home lots of girlfriends to meet the parents. He was a young man and an undergrad student at ISU so there were lots to choose from. There was one girl we liked who could holla hoop for like an hour and would sit and make bracelets with us girls all afternoon…you know we all liked her…I look back and wonder why tho. (so not right for him) This one Christmas I remember everyone was home my cousin, sister, and I were in the bedroom…we literally peered our heads over stacked one over the other…(what a sight) Russ had just walked in the house with a blond lady…we all turned around and giggled to ourselves…she’s a witch. Really she wasn’t but we were playing fairies early and it kind of fit the theme…however, I think we believed it for a really long time….come to find out days later she is a teacher. First impressions some times are horrifying for children…but that is how I remember most of the people in my life. Hee hee. I guess the point is that Christmas always hold so many family memories for me….every year was different and exciting. Now I don’t even know what my plans are…heck I might even spend Christmas Eve by myself.
Being a young woman, visited by a heavenly figure, with news that you are with a child. If it were me I would be in shock….dumb founded….at the thinking stage of why, what, when, how, denial…denial would be a feeling I think that would have over come me. A mother with child without sex, conception without sperm from a man….hmmm With all the science they have today nothing would shock me, but this Christmas carol isn’t based on the here and now.
And what about a man, who in fear took his wife pregnant with a child he knows isn’t his. Wouldn’t there be a lot of doubt, lack of trust….?
God does such wonderful things.
There are many stories that people know that go along with Christmas tradition.
“You’ll shoot your eye out,” “my teacher says every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings,” or “Ba-hum, bug”
My favorite Christmas story comes from the Good Book, you can’t really beat the true reason we celebrate Christmas. I know that this isn’t really the day we celebrate Christ’s Birthday, but it is a day like other holidays that we use it to represent something so that we take the time to recognize it. I’m busy just like other people, heck I haven’t even really done the whole Christmas shopping (and I don’t plan on it) we pass over things if not reminded. I almost even forgot my grandmother’s own birthday today because I have been focused on everything else and there wasn’t something to remind me, normally she is around so I remember that it is coming because we plan special dinners or what not. The last couple of years it has just been slipping tho, cause I never see her. Kendra (my cousin) and I were talking (via email) about how the holidays aren’t really the same because none of us really get together for the holidays like we use to when we were kids, cause grandma’s moved on and moved away.
I remember one Christmas my uncle brought home a girl. I was in kindergarten and I was use to Russ bringing home lots of girlfriends to meet the parents. He was a young man and an undergrad student at ISU so there were lots to choose from. There was one girl we liked who could holla hoop for like an hour and would sit and make bracelets with us girls all afternoon…you know we all liked her…I look back and wonder why tho. (so not right for him) This one Christmas I remember everyone was home my cousin, sister, and I were in the bedroom…we literally peered our heads over stacked one over the other…(what a sight) Russ had just walked in the house with a blond lady…we all turned around and giggled to ourselves…she’s a witch. Really she wasn’t but we were playing fairies early and it kind of fit the theme…however, I think we believed it for a really long time….come to find out days later she is a teacher. First impressions some times are horrifying for children…but that is how I remember most of the people in my life. Hee hee. I guess the point is that Christmas always hold so many family memories for me….every year was different and exciting. Now I don’t even know what my plans are…heck I might even spend Christmas Eve by myself.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Sleepy Sleepy
So it is 1:30 in the afternoon, I haven't slept this long in a long time....it felt good and the sad thing is I could really go back to bed cause I don't really feel very good. So much for Christmas Caroling today. I hope everybody had a great week of finals...and a great graduation!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Bath Time
Where is my Bud Light...Heee Hee
Just for the record...that is my head...and a picture from clip art file....I was wanting to be creative....
Just for the record...that is my head...and a picture from clip art file....I was wanting to be creative....
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